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DALL·E 2023-04-10 13.57.12 - Digital art of a lightbulb containing a couch, hanging over t

Individual Therapy - Individuation

Tuning in to your Self

Ruby Aujla UKCP Accredited Clinical Psychotherapist

There are times in life when we feel we can no longer continue on the same path we have been on. Something has changed inside and we can feel we can no longer tolerate a situation. whether this is an relationship, a career path, a family dynamic, friendship dynamics, workplace dynamics and more. Sometimes we can experience this change strongly, feeling anger to change things. Other times we just know we have not got the energy to keep showing up the way we are showing up. Other times Life hits us and forces change upon us. Either way we can find ourselves at a fork in the road, we can either try to force ourselves to continue on the same known path or we can answer to the call within us to change. Change can bring pain. It can be a highly risky process and sometimes there is no safety net. Letting go of certain roles we play and leaving what is familiar to us is daunting.

Carl Jung coined the word Individuation - to describe a process of becoming ones own self. We have been raised with messages on how to be in the World. We understand what gets us approval, what can risk rejection, in which ways we can please others and which ways may evoke judgement. It is necessary to understand how to survive in different contexts, yet we may still be adapting to these messages when our survival does not depend on them. The cost can be high, in which Individuals are disconnecting to their authentic selves. 

There are many reasons why we struggle to individuate and allow ourselves to become our whole authentic selves. The costs can be high from staying in the wrong job, struggling to speak from an authentic place in social situations. Living a lifestyle that doesn't help us thrive, staying in relationships in which our needs do not feel important or stay unexpressed. Never finding out if we could create a life out of our Passions and Living a life with unlived dreams.

Jungian analyst James Hollis suggests that we can face periods of individuation throughout our lives, from pushing back and challenging norms and rules at a younger age, to experiencing a will to change career or leave a safe route for a Path less travelled in our middle age. We can still want to challenge societal scripts as elders and find individual ways to find connection and happiness. 

In Jungian perspectives we are all unique and at our full potential we have amazing gifts to offer ourselves, our loved ones and the world. Our work is to tap into our own inner wisdom and let this guide us. There are so many things we can feel anxious about in the World today, yet our inner unrest suggests we may not be living true to ourselves.

As an Integrative Psychotherapist I integrate Jungian Analysis, Transactional Analysis and Parts Work Theory to offer individuals a foundation for exploring their own personal stories and beliefs about themselves. I hope to offer templates for individuals hoping to understand the expectations they have on themselves, how they feel they have to be in the World and how they genuinely feel. To explore genuine interests and changing desires. To understand their own inner conflicts and external conflicts. To begin to understand their unique calling and to gain insight into subconscious behaviour, which may be keeping them small in comparison to their potential. 

                                            'The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are' -Carl Jung


My Specialisms.

My experience has been rich and varied. My background has been working with individuals who have been homeless, ex offenders, the victim support service, mental health rehabilitation, eating disorder, addiction centres and I have experienced working within hospital based NHS Services.

Areas in Psychotherapy where I tend to have the most positive impact include working with Individuals with high social anxiety, Individuals wanting to understand their relationship patterns, Individuals who are highly self critical or perfectionists. With Individuals from varying cultures and experiencing clashes between cultural norms. Individuals who have experienced relationships with narcissistic individuals. Individuals who are facing extreme life changes, affairs, divorce, leaving their careers, or experienced loss of a loved one. 

When I first started training in Psychotherapy, I was working in a role where I was hoping to find tools for crisis management. As I continued my training which included my own personal therapy, I understood how Psychotherapy can offer vital tools for improving life at any stage. Offering a place to reflect, gain insight and explore ones true potential, becoming ones whole Self.

It is a privilege to be alongside somebody as they explore barriers that are getting in their way and strengthening parts of themselves which have long been devalued and neglected.  Whilst contemplating what really matters in life, the existential and what gives life meaning.


My name is Ruby Aujla. I am a fully qualified Clinical Psychotherapist registered with the UKCP.

I have trained at the Northern Guild of Psychotherapy.

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