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Relationships

The little things count.

Often individuals tell me they fight over something so small that it feels embarrassing to admit these things, yet as a Psychotherapist I understand that arguing over the seemingly little things, is actually arguing over something deeper without even fully knowing this. 

 

As our core wounds can be activated in relationships I am aware that reactions in situations can feel Shameful. I am interested in Parts Work Theory concepts in which we try and understand the different parts of us rather than shame those parts. 

​Relationships strongly impact us and our energy for the World around us. However, they take work, they take tending to and our investment. The work involves really looking at our own patterns and having the courage to explore them and change them. 

What we understand.

As the Gottman's proposed, couples can encounter the four horsemen of death! Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness and Stonewalling. There is usually a familiar cycle that couples repeat in their dynamics and communication. Individuals can fight, flight or freeze when communicating, having the opposite effect to getting their needs met.

 

Dr Sue Johnson suggests some of us are Demanders -'I feel dismissed' and others are more Withdrawers -' I can't do anything right'. In some couples both are Demanders or both are Withdrawers, yet we may not be aware of our roles and their impact on the relationship.

How Therapy can help!

In Couples Therapy I hope to help you identify any repeating patterns, explore their full impact as well as the roots in defensiveness. We can explore alternative ways of having your needs seen and met. ​

I welcome you to contact me for an Introductory Session. My preference is to work in Person yet online sessions are also available.

Couples Therapy Introductory Session £70 & Following Sessions £85 per session.

The Introductory session will include assessment of frequency of sessions required/ manageable. 

 psychologycave@gmail.com

 

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